I have just finished reading "In a Heartbeat" by Sean and Leigh Anne Tuohy (they are wonderful role models- I wish I knew them personally, but I'll be happy with just reading the book) and I have just started to read "Eat Pray Love." This goes along with my long time quest to create the life I, and God, want me to have. I am not there yet.
I am sitting here a divorced, single, 37 year old, overweight, childless (except for my two precious cats, Bogie and Bryce) woman evaluating my life and I realize I am not where I want to be. I evaluate my life often, but it wasn't until my 37th birthday - 1 month and 4 days ago - that it really hit me hard. Don't get me wrong, I am very blessed with wonderful friends, a great job, my boys (cats) and hope of a great future (as long as I do my part) but I am not fulfilled - there are things missing.
I have not been doing my part for some time now. I have been circling the same mountain for years, i.e. doing the same thing expecting different results. I can no longer go on living like this. I have so many plans and hopes for the future and time is slipping through my fingers. It's amazing how fast the weeks go by the older you get.
I started to really pray about it about a week ago. Actually, I called my best friend and cried my eyes out and we prayed. I asked God to let me know in some way that things were going to get better and He would give me the desires of my heart; mostly a family.
My best friend, Debbie, said she could feel herself getting excited and that this sorrow on my heart was God's way of pushing me to get out of my comfort zone so he could give me my blessings. I hoped she was right, because my hope was fading.
I received signs immediately from God. Now I know some people would say that they were coincendence, but my faith tells me otherwise and I choose to believe God was talking to me through means I was receptive to. I opened my devotional and the title of the devotional was "Act Now" - the next morning I turned the radio on (K-Love) and the very first thing I heard was a voice singing, "this is the first day of the rest of your life" I watched a Joyce Meyer service that night where she spoke of watching what comes out of your mouth and the thoughts you have and if you really want to be happy help others. Stop focusing on yourself and look for ways to help those who are in need. Point taken. Now it's time to act.
I made a list of ways to help people. Then I reminded myself to keep a lookout. It doesn't have to be anything big. It could be a smile, holding the door open, letting the person behind me with a hand full of groceries go ahead of my full cart. One of the items on my list was to buy supplies for schools and donate them. I went to the store yesterday and on a table by the cashier counter were prepackaged school supplies you could buy and the store would donate them to kids who can't afford supplies. There is was right in front of me. I couldn't help but smile at how I asked and received so fast.
To have the life I want, I had to set a deadline - 1 year from today. If I don't I will become idle and go around the mountain -again. I am sharing my experiences with you to be accountable and in hopes that my journey will help others.
It will not be easy to accomplish all the things I hope to and I will HAVE TO have God's blessing on them all, but I believe if I put in the hard work it's going to take, God will bless me with the desires of my heart because with God all things are possible.
I know my list seems extreme, but they are things I have wanted my entire life and it's time to be bold in my actions and prayers. I also want to be a good role model for those in my life today and in the future and for my family to come. Here it goes.
1 Year Goals:
1. A closer relationship with the Lord - go to church more often
2. Be in the process of an agent looking for a publisher for my novel
3. Have lost 100 pounds
4. Eat healthy and exercise daily
5. Keep my appearance up - daily
6. An organized home
7. To be the kind of person that leads by example (I want to walk the walk, not talk the talk)
8. Stop complaining all the time - have an attitude of gratitude
9. Help others as often as possible
10. Do things outside of my comfort zone
11.Be engaged to get married
12. Move out of an apartment and into a house
I could think of a million more things I want to do, but this year those are the ones I will focus on. There is no particular order in my list, they are all equally important with the exception of #1 which is the most important of all.
I'm glad you're taking this journey with me.
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